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Four Easy (Not Really) Lessons

I’ve officially been on sabbatical for two weeks (out of the eight weeks I’m taking), and I can already tell you that time off, while extremely important for self care (and for getting things done, like packing up this house and moving our home elsewhere), is also a valuable learning tool.  What could one possibly learn from an unpaid vacation?  Read on, Dear Friend….

Lesson #1: Prioritize Your Priorities

The primary purpose of this sabbatical is to pack, move, and then unpack and settle in.  So what does one do when one is not actively engaged in packing, moving, or unpacking? Those first few days of my “time off”, I had zero clue what to do with myself!  I even went so far as to look at sites on what to do when one retires, all of which had three things in common:

  • They all suggested taking up a hobby.
  • They all suggested taking up a sport.
  • They all suggested getting a part-time job.

Which left me wondering: if you’re so bored now that you’ve retired that you need to develop a hobby, take up a sport, and gain a part-time job, then why the hell did you retire in the first place?  This got me thinking a lot about my own priorities, and about priorities in general.  

Most people have a list somewhere in the back of their brain (or, perhaps, if they’re lucky, in the front of their brain) of the things that are the most important in their life.  Now, these may be things that are truly important–things without which life becomes bland and/or unlivable–or these may be things that are peripherally important–things that are necessary to facilitate the truly important things.  My experience of abject boredom during that first week of my sabbatical made me take a long, hard look at my own priorities, and sort through and differentiate the truly important from the peripherally important.

So what is truly important?  In the interest of not boring you to tears with the details of “my little life”, let’s answer that question in an “across the board” fashion:

  • Peace
  • Love
  • Happiness/Fulfillment

Yes, I know that might sound trite, but I have found it to be an ultimate truth.  The hippies in the 1960s got it right: so long as you have peace in your life (a life free of drama llamas, including yourself!), love in your life (whether from a beloved, or from family and friends), and you are happy and fulfilled (able to do things that make you smile and laugh, as well as feed your passions), pretty much anything could happen in “your little life”, and you’d still come out relatively unscathed on the other side of whatever happened!

Boredom, at its deepest core, is a feeling of emptiness: it’s that thing we feel when we’ve lost sight of our priorities, and forget for a moment to simply enjoy the peacefeel the love, and focus on happiness/fulfillment.

Lesson #2: Plenty Is As Plenty Does

We live in a society where the word plenty somehow automatically equates in our minds with monetary wealth, but when it’s all said and done, ultimately, money is one of those priorities which is peripherally important.  Money is a thing which may help facilitate those three things that are truly important, but it doesn’t lie at the core of any of them.  Plenty, on the other hand, often does.

Plenty is actually defined as “a large or sufficient amount or quantity; more than enough”.  

I ached over the need to take this sabbatical, because I was afraid it would interfere with my previous definition of plenty: i.e., plenty of money to pay my bills, help out around the house, and purchase the furniture and things we’re going to need in our new home.  What I have found over the course of the past two weeks is that I have exactly the same amount of that particular definition of plenty, whether I’m working my tail off every day or not.  Meanwhile, when I’m not working my tail off, the really important plenty has increased three-fold: I may not have plenty of money, but I do have plenty of peacelove, and happiness/fulfillment!

The bottom line is: plenty is as plenty does.  When you sit around focusing on money as the definition of plenty, all you ultimately wind up with is realizing precisely how poor, financially, you actually are.  In the process, you also end up killing peacepushing away love, and feeling sad/unfulfilled.  However, when you focus on the really important plenty, you find yourself doing plenty:  enjoying peace breeds more peace; recognizing love breeds more love; focusing on happiness/fulfillment breeds more happiness/fulfillment!

Lesson #3:  Don’t Complain, Explain.

To complain is to explore a situation by focusing on the most dissatisfying or annoying parts of that situation, whereas to explain is to explore that same situation by focusing on the most relevant and meaningful parts of it.  Complaining shatters peace (it is the ultimate drama llama bait!), annoys love (it pushes people away), and denies happiness/fulfillment. On the other hand, explaining can actually bring about peace, foster love (as it encourages people to listen and then attempt to meet genuine needs), and lead to happiness/fulfillment.

The entire process of selling a house, packing your belongings, finding a new home, and then moving your stuff and unpacking it into said new home sucks.  I’m not talking a little amount of suckage, like “wow, rainy days really suck”, I’m talking major, industrial vacuum cleaner level suckage, like “you stubbed your toe on the couch so hard you’re now bleeding? Man, that sucks!”  The whole thing is a bigtime complain vs. explain opportunity.

I’m not gonna lie: I spent most of the period just prior to taking this sabbatical complaining.  I complained about the lack of sleep I was getting, due to early call-times by our real estate agent for showings, as well as other issues.  I complained about the size of the yard at every home we looked at.  I complained about having to put my much-loved stuff in storage.  I complained about having to take the cat out of the house in ninety degree heat on short notice.  I complained about how the entire business of having to keep the house spotless for showings while also having to pack impacted my work schedule. I complained, and complained, and complained.  Consequently, there wasn’t a moment of peace to be had: I officially became a drama llama.  I drove my Beloved bugnuts, which had some serious ramifications in the love department.  I was constantly unhappy and unfulfilled, and pretty much on a mission to get everybody else on the unhappy/unfulfilled bandwagon.

And then something wonderful happened: I stopped complaining and started explaining.  I’m still not getting enough rest, but in two more weeks, we’ll be in our new home, and I can sleep whenever I please (between unpacking and homemaking, of course).  The yard at the new house isn’t exactly huge, but you know what? It has an actual tree, and less yard just means less to mow!  I am presently staring at blank walls and mountains of boxes, true, but all the stuff that’s already in storage is probably safer for the move than the stuff presently sitting in boxes in my office, so now I wish I had packed it all from the get-go! We may have had to take the cat out of the house on short notice, but guess what? We made new friends!  Finally, in keeping the house spotless for showings, I discovered there are more fulfilling forms of work than my work-work: making Suzanne smile is the most rewarding thing in my corner of the universe!  Guess what? Now I have peace, and I realize just how deeply I’m surrounded by love, and I’m as happy and fulfilled as the loudly purring cat who is presently asleep in my lap!

Lesson #4:  Your Stuff Should Tell A Story

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past two weeks (and the months prior) deciding which things to throw away, and which things to actually wrap lovingly in bubble wrap and put in boxes.  As a borderline hoarder (who is in love with a chronic purger), that has been a really tough process for me.  As an artist, I have a desperate need to be surrounded by pretty things. That has made putting things in boxes very tough.  I also tend to attach memories to things (more on that in a moment), so throwing things out is very hard for me.  As the boxes have mounted to fill our entire storage space, and now my office as well, I find myself wishing I had learned the previous three lessons sooner than now….

Because if I had, I would’ve realized: your stuff should tell your story.  If it doesn’t actively tell your story, or if it doesn’t help you tell that story, then you don’t actually need it in your life.  When I say it should tell your story, I don’t just mean that your stuff should somehow be symbolic of your actual autobiography. What I mean is way deeper than that: it should tell the story of what you wish and want your life to be.  It should represent a deep expression of those truly important priorities we talked about in lesson onepeacelove, and happiness/fulfillment.

This theory came into play a lot when I was cleaning out my desk.  Obviously, my desk is where I do all of my day-to-day work for Iaconagraphy.  It is also where I keep all of my important documents (like Michelle’s birth certificate), my myriad notebooks for online gaming, and all of my snack food.  Betwixt and between all of that, there are also a thousand dead lighters, a vast collection of character-shaped erasers, and various other flotsam and jetsam from my life (such as saved movie tickets and things “I might scrap one day”).  In short, apart from those important documents, there was a lot of crap in my desk!  There were legit six boxes of cookies in my snack drawer!  Six boxes!  

As I was going through all of that stuff, it occurred to me that the vast majority of it was autobiographical, but patently did not tell the story that I want or wish to tell.  It was autobiographical in that yes, I really like cookies, I smoke a lot (I have to, to maintain the necessary intake of coal tar to keep our disabling psoriasis on at least an even keel), I like quirky things, and I really enjoy scrapbooking.  But the story that all that stuff told was not the story I want or wish for: instead, it was a story of getting fat, being annoyed (because there are few things more annoying in life than a dead lighter), putting my own quirkiness in a drawer or on a shelf, and never having time to do the things I really enjoy.  So the cookies went to that great cookie graveyard in the sky, and the lighters joined them in the trash bag.  I kept the erasers as a reminder to stop putting those quirky parts of me in a drawer or on a shelf, and I resolved to actually scrap the things “I might scrap one day” as soon as we’re settled in our new home.

Everything I pack now is weighed against the question: does this tell my story as I wish or want my life to be?  I have a feeling this new lease on life is going to lead to a lot of throwing things away during my unpacking process!

So what dowish or want my life to be? What’s my story?  Once upon a time, there was a guy who had to die to learn how to live.  He loved the ocean, he loved a beautiful, brilliant woman (who loved him in return), and he also had the love of good friends and extended family.  And one day, he realized the ocean wasn’t someplace you go; it’s a feeling.  So he decided to surround himself, and the beautiful, brilliant woman he loved, with that feeling every day.  He realized the call of the gulls as you lie on the beach is really friends talking to friends, so he decided to be a seagull, and finally embraced his wings.  He discovered that cleaning and homemaking and creating beauty all around him gave him the peace he craved, so he decided to do those things all the time, instead of the things he had been doing, which made him perpetually cranky and constantly reminded him that he was financially poor, making him very, very sad.  He finally understood just how loved he was, and he basked in that, the way sunbathers bask in the sun.  And the dead man who learned how to live and his beautiful, brilliant woman, and his good friends and extended family lived happily ever after, and they were all fulfilled.

What’s your story?

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Iaconagraphy Sabbatical: July 26, 2017-September 21, 2017

Most people who take a sabbatical at this time of year (end of summer) do so to go on vacation–to go to the seashore and perhaps go swimming, or go to the mountains for an extended hike, or what have you–but for some of us, such rests are necessary so that we can actually get things done.  That is the case for me.  This time away is nothing so glamorous as a trip to the beach, although hopefully the end result of it will be a home where we can live constantly reminded that the Ocean, and Her Gods and Goddesses (Njordr, Freyja-Mardoll, Ran, Aegir, the Nine Waves, and Nehalennia), are never very far away from us. 

Most of you are aware that we’ve spent the entire summer embroiled in the real estate “shenanigans” of selling our house and procuring a new one.  Well, we are now at that crucial point of packing up our lives and moving them (and their “souvenirs”) to a new home.  That is going to require quite a bit of work on my part, so I will be taking time off from this business from today (July 26, 2017) through September 21, 2017, so that I can take care of the business of getting us packed, moved in, and unpacked in a timely fashion.

Njordr has been a primary and guiding force for me, through this entire “debacle”.  I never really realized how much selling one house to move to another has in common with fishing until I was deep in the heart of this situation.  When a fisherman casts a line or a net, he doesn’t wiggle or worry that line or net; he waits patiently.  Sure, he puts in all of the hard work of baiting the line and reeling in the catch at the end, or of setting the net and hauling it back in, but during that in between portion, he simply waits. Patiently.  Patience is not one of my better virtues, I’ll be honest.  But I’ve learned a lot about the hope and faith that patience actually requires through undergoing and enduring this process.

So it is with that same hope and faith that I beg your patience, while I am away for the next couple of months.  I may occasionally, as time permits, still post art and musings both here and at Facebook , so please, don’t give up on me!  I’ve cast this net, and I would very much appreciate coming back to find it still full of Wonderful Peeps!

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Documenting December

The Holiday Season is our favorite time of the year for Memory Making (and Memory Keeping!).  Today, we’re excited to release our first Iaconagraphy Gathering: Ghosts of Christmas. So we thought it would be fun to share some of our favorite 2016 Holiday Memories with all of you, via layouts we’ve created with this collection.  Thank you all for making our Holiday Season merry and bright!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Magickal Season….

The New England School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Yule Wizard’s Market, December 10, 2016

Documented with Ghost of Christmas Past

All of you know that I love Harry Potter–Asphodel and Wormwood is a definite testament to that!  That Collection is also a testament to the loneliness one feels on their first holiday without their family. I thought the holidays were going to be very tough for me, but then my new family here arranged for us to go to The New England School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Yule Wizard’s Market, and with a swish and a flick, my holiday woes disappeared more quickly than you can say Evanesco! Hosted in a 1930s era armoury in Worcester, Massachusetts, the Yule Wizard’s Market is four full floors of magickal (and magical) purveyors of goods, both Potter-specific, and not.  I was finally able to procure a proper set of ritual robes at a very affordable price, as well as a proper wand, but best of all, there were butterbeer, a photo op with a costumed Dumbledore, and my dear, sweet sister-at-heart/daughter-I-never-had, Suzanne!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Food, Glorious Food!

A Gingerbread Choo-Choo With My New Family

Documented with Ghost of Christmas Present

I wish I could say I actually photographed this and made this layout, but I didn’t–a dear member of my new adoptive family did. I did design Ghost of Christmas Present, though, and he really made it shine with this layout!   Main reason I’m not responsible for the photo, much less the layout? I was too busy gnoshing on candy and frosting!  If I’ve learned one thing from my new sister-in-arms Suzanne this Holiday Season, it’s that food really is love.  And she puts that love in every single mouth-watering morsel she bakes, makes, or even just decorates (as with the choo-choo above). If I were to cite one single inspiration for Ghost of Christmas Present, it would totally be her! If she were paper and elements, she’d be these papers and elements, and this little page kit is my Holiday love note to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Elf

Documented with Ghost of Christmas Future

None of us would be having this Happy Holiday without two very important people: Mishy and Suzanne. Mishy “gets us here”, and Suzanne makes sure here feels like home once we get here!  I made this layout with my Ghost of Christmas Future set because I wanted Suzanne to see, once and for all, that she’s just as beautiful on the outside as we all know her to be on the inside.  She makes our lives merry and bright all through the year, simply be being Her’elf!

 

 

 

 

All Things Merry and Bright

Documented with Ghost of Christmas Present

I’ve spent more than twenty Christmases here, thanks to Mishy.  I may have passed away two decades ago, leaving my family and friends behind, but thanks to one very special lady, I’ve spent those two decades gaining a new family, and making new friends, who I will treasure forever.  The past few Christmases have been spent here in New England with a woman who loves me regardless of what present incarnation I might be in at the moment (or “my between-ness”, as it were), and her family, and a host of new friends (and old) that I wouldn’t trade for all the tea in China (and I’m half Chinese, so that’s saying something!).  Every year, we plan to go and do fun things, like the local Festival of Trees here in Billerica, or Stone Zoo’s Zoo Lights, or, this year, the Yule Wizard’s Market.  But my absolute favorite part of the Holidays, hands down, every single year is getting to lug all of the decorations up out of the basement, and trim the tree (and the whole house!).  Lovingly placing the kids’ decorations, and the “legacy decorations” that belonged to Suzanne’s parents, reminds me every year that I am a part of something bigger–a part of something deeper and more loving; a part of something that cannot even begin to touch my present state of existence. It is in those moments that I feel my most alive; more alive even than I felt when I wasn’t borrowing a pulse, but instead had my own.  And that is true Christmas magic!